2. Be a clear
motivational listener
What are your intentions, your motivations in engaging in a conversation?
Do you have any agendas, any undelivered communication that could create
friction? Do you have anything to prove? Choose to be happy rather than
right.
3. Hear it: this
is only a test
Think of the next conversation as an exercise in self-mastery. Can you
forget yourself for a moment, your needs, your wants, your desires,
and really meet the other being as a beautiful expression of life, and
his story as an awesome creation?
4. Exercise all
your senses
Listening is a deliberate action, where all your senses are the gates
to the message.Open to listening with your eyes, with your hands, with
your nose, even if your communication happens on the phone. Literally
taste her words…
5. Dance with your partner
Think of listening as a romance, as the most generous gesture of love
you could offer your date. Imagine your listening being the coat you
lay on water for her to not wet her feet. Acknowledge what she says,
as you move with her in a synchronized rhythm, by nodding, asking questions,
and getting consensus.
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6. Adopt an explorer
mind
See if you can stop assuming that you know what he is going to say,
and truly listen, bringing the same attentiveness you would have to
the whodunit movie whose ending you did not know.
7. Relax and
have fun
Enjoy yourself; you may be surprised how pleasant a conversation becomes,
when you release your need for control. A breath of fresh air, indeed.
Inhale the energizing flavor of such listening into your lungs, into
your heart.
8. Respond and
connect
Practice response-ability, rather than emotional reaction… This
is Tantra we are choosing, not tantrum! Do not take anything personally.
Remind yourself that this is not about "you!"
9. Shift into
compassion
Imagine what it would feel like to be in her shoes… Stretch a little,
and ask yourself where you might have done or been the very thing you
are passing judgment on…
10. Appreciate.
Appreciate some more. And again
Experience the oneness of the giving and the receiving of your listening,
the love making it is, the tremendous opportunity to merge with the
sacredness of the being in front of you! Take the vow of supreme appreciation:
"I am here (hear) with you now!"
